Most experts will probably tell you that ideally children should be raised by both a mother and a father, but in our family we’ve discovered yet a third necessary parental figure: Famother.

Famother shows up when one of us (usually me) is gone for an extended period of time, and the other one (usually Abe) picks up the slack and morphs into (you guessed it) both Father and Mother. I’m gone 2-6 days at a time at least once a month—sometimes more—and have been for the last several years. He has become quite adept at this whole Famotherhood thing.

It’s not easy. Famother must at all times be aware of his dual responsibilities if he is to be effective in his role. He must bring home the bacon and, well, fry it up in the pan, to quote a well-known philosopher.

And Abe does.

For example, when I got home the other night from Nashville, the dishes were done, the carpets vacuumed, the sheets freshly laundered and both kids accounted for, fed and happy. That’s no easy feat when you factor in a full-time job plus the 7 days I was gone. That’s a whole lot of meals cooked, taxi rides given, begging negotiated, clients appeased, meetings rushed to, and for those of you who know Abe, Facebook updates posted.

Oh yes, when I go, he gets his Community involved in The Adventures of Famotherhood. Trust me, the man works it for all it’s worth. One of his “fans” even suggested he write a book!! Still, my gratitude is not diminished by this. Knowing that the fort is being held down with such parental mastery has made traveling a lot less stressful for me in recent years.

Now…..do things get done exactly the way I’d do them if I were home? When our daughter was younger and needed help getting dressed, for instance, would I have sent her to school in the maroon floral top with the red leggings? Or stocked the pantry with Cheetos and Oreos? Or let the kids watch TV ‘til 3 am? Not on your life.

But the beauty of Famotherhood is that it doesn’t have to follow the “rules” of either Father or Mother, it is its own entity. Famotherhood can easily get away with pizza and burgers for dinner for an entire week, or multiple back-to-back sleepovers. It just can. Because let’s face it, Famotherhood is about survival. Until the balance is restored, until the baton can be passed, a timeout called. I can appreciate that and therefore I never question these little departures from the norm. And the truth is, my kids love it. ☺

Abe, and other Famothers of the world, you are highly appreciated, valued beyond words. You are the warm, cozy cabin to us weary and anxious parents who must travel for our life’s work. Thank you for being so present in our absence.