Look what happened—spring snuck up on us!

April is bursting out all over my backyard with dazzling colors and shapes and aromas.

Look at this pink!

Look at that green! (don’t asparagus ferns remind you of dreadlocks?)

See the bending birch trees below? They’re just saplings, and the one on the right almost didn’t make it through the windy, stormy months. But he’s been hangin’ in there, even after one of his thick trunks splintered one blustery day this past February.

Just a few weeks ago all of this looked like a brownish wasteland of tangled dead weeds. I haven’t done one bit of gardening; the water’s been off all winter. The rain and sun and earth did this all on their own.

I’m inspired by this cycle of life, death and rebirth. It gives me hope. Makes me think I don’t need to fret and strive so much; that maybe beneath the surface this season is doing its work in me like it’s done in my backyard, and that new joy, new patience and new peace are growing and will emerge in me in due time.

As I write this I am taking a much needed breather from my studies. No, I’m not in college; I already finished that, plus a graduate program. No, I just upgraded yesterday to one of those new 3G Smart Phones— the ones that keep your life sync’d, connected to the universe, and uber-organized. Apparently being a college grad doesn’t really come in all that handy in figuring out how to use it, though. I’m thinking there’s Rocket Science involved, because I have now found it necessary to embark on a lifelong quest for How To Be as Smart as My Phone.

Take a look at the gal on the left here….do you think it took her long to figure out how to dial up her girlfriends and plan the church potluck? No, it didn’t. Those were the days, my friends.

How To Be as Smart as My Phone is an intensive course of study which includes reading online manuals, watching tutorials on YouTube, navigating through Help apps, tech websites, chat forums…

I’ve had to learn, for example, that a “gesture” is a sweep of the fingertip across a touch sensitive screen, sending panels flying horizontally or vertically, according to the direction of my gesture. And while I do feel a little like Tom Cruise in Minority Report, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve been watching YouTube videos where fast-talking guys with even faster gestures demonstrate the lightning speed with which my new phone can do things I’ve never even thought to try, much less imagined a phone could tackle.

For example….every single one of my contacts on Facebook, Gmail, Yahoo, Twitter and computer address book can be condensed into ONE LIST!? That’s almost frightening to think about. It’s like every person I know from all the different areas of my life attending the same party. How weird is that?

Also, apparently I can browse the web, play a game, text a friend, pinpoint the nearest Peet’s coffee on a map and listen to music ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Yes, this Smart Phone multi-tasks like a mother. (No really, a mom)

It’s a little disconcerting to know that like my brain, I will probably only use a teeny percentage of what this phone can do. Don’t you think these gadgets really COULD take over the world, Terminator-style, given that kind of superior intelligence?

Still…I do like making the cool, sweeping fingertip gestures. And I like the navigation app—it will help me not get lost and find a restaurant i like when I travel, if i can figure out how to use it.

I’ve been tapping the “Help” icon on the phone, and get taken into the bowels of a gigantic library full of terms, shortcuts, and preferences. I was in the Help labyrinth just after i purchased the phone yesterday when suddenly, the phone rang, and I realized I had no idea how to answer it.

Sigh. I’ll bet our gal up there has a handy little address book and notepad on that table, and I bet it’s all she needs. Not that simple anymore…..so it’s back to school for me!

My Entourage calendar has “Easter” as the entry on Sunday, April 4th. Like “dental appointment” or “Mother’s Day;” just another event I need reminding of this week. Something I’m supposed to do, or feel special about, or commemorate somehow. With, what…colored eggs and baskets for the kids? A new Spring dress? A family gathering? A ham, for crying out loud? It seems crazy….seeing it there for all the world looking like any other word on the page.

Here’s what I know about “Easter,” this calendar entry, this greeting card category, this retail holiday.

I know that for me, a believer and follower of Christ, it represents His resurrection from the dead, an historical event foretold by the ancient prophets and attested to by hundreds of eyewitnesses.

I know it is the key to God’s plan of salvation and redemption. That without it our faith is powerless, and because of it, we are granted forgiveness for our sins, and life forever in the presence of God.

I know it is an act of preposterous love, so merciful and generous, it’s almost inconceivable. It’s as ridiculous as undeserved love can ever be. Foolish enough to perplex and stump those who try to approach it from logic alone. …..but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.

Is it ever…because here’s what else I know:

I have tried, God knows how often, to get myself right…to act better….to be good….to make up for all the wrong I’ve done. Turns out I’m miserable at it; I don’t have the power to do it. There is nothing in my nature that will ever completely conquer my own dark acts of selfishness, pride, lust, or envy. I am captive to them.

But I know, beyond a doubt, that the resurrection is my only hope at living free, at being alive to God and dead to sin. It’s my only chance to experience grace, in all its overflowing goodness.

I want to look at this word, “Easter” all weekend long, and not once forget to breathe or shout my thanks to God for these things I know. I want to joyfully gather with the saints on Sunday and sing my heart out in celebration of His foolish, beautiful love for every one of us. For His power to make us alive to Him.

Now, how do I put all that on the calendar?!

Most experts will probably tell you that ideally children should be raised by both a mother and a father, but in our family we’ve discovered yet a third necessary parental figure: Famother.

Famother shows up when one of us (usually me) is gone for an extended period of time, and the other one (usually Abe) picks up the slack and morphs into (you guessed it) both Father and Mother. I’m gone 2-6 days at a time at least once a month—sometimes more—and have been for the last several years. He has become quite adept at this whole Famotherhood thing.

It’s not easy. Famother must at all times be aware of his dual responsibilities if he is to be effective in his role. He must bring home the bacon and, well, fry it up in the pan, to quote a well-known philosopher.

And Abe does.

For example, when I got home the other night from Nashville, the dishes were done, the carpets vacuumed, the sheets freshly laundered and both kids accounted for, fed and happy. That’s no easy feat when you factor in a full-time job plus the 7 days I was gone. That’s a whole lot of meals cooked, taxi rides given, begging negotiated, clients appeased, meetings rushed to, and for those of you who know Abe, Facebook updates posted.

Oh yes, when I go, he gets his Community involved in The Adventures of Famotherhood. Trust me, the man works it for all it’s worth. One of his “fans” even suggested he write a book!! Still, my gratitude is not diminished by this. Knowing that the fort is being held down with such parental mastery has made traveling a lot less stressful for me in recent years.

Now…..do things get done exactly the way I’d do them if I were home? When our daughter was younger and needed help getting dressed, for instance, would I have sent her to school in the maroon floral top with the red leggings? Or stocked the pantry with Cheetos and Oreos? Or let the kids watch TV ‘til 3 am? Not on your life.

But the beauty of Famotherhood is that it doesn’t have to follow the “rules” of either Father or Mother, it is its own entity. Famotherhood can easily get away with pizza and burgers for dinner for an entire week, or multiple back-to-back sleepovers. It just can. Because let’s face it, Famotherhood is about survival. Until the balance is restored, until the baton can be passed, a timeout called. I can appreciate that and therefore I never question these little departures from the norm. And the truth is, my kids love it. ☺

Abe, and other Famothers of the world, you are highly appreciated, valued beyond words. You are the warm, cozy cabin to us weary and anxious parents who must travel for our life’s work. Thank you for being so present in our absence.

As I write this I’m in a semi-insomniatic* state. I’ve been averaging about 2-3 hours of sleep a night for several days now. I’m zapped of creativity, productivity, positivity…..you name it, I’ve depleted it. It’s a major accomplishment to get out of my PJ’s by noon, my eyeballs have a distinct hard-boiled feeling, my muscles ache. I think I could be brainwashed into believing in an impending alien abduction, and take up residence in an underground bunker. I need an intervention.

Everything I’ve heard about insomnia tells me I’m likely stressed about something, or drinking too much caffeine or alcohol, staying up too late, or in some other way “bringing it on,” but the truth is I’m not conscious of anything that should cause this current season of sleeplessness. I’m feeling content, happy, at peace, for the most part, with my life. I don’t get it.

Let me tell you what I’ve tried, lest you think I’m a novice at this whole sleeplessness thing.

-No caffeine after about noon? Check.
-Quiet, dark bedroom? Check
-Warm bath before bed? Check
-Reading? Check
-Watching a movie? Check
-Writing a list of things to do the next day so they don’t keep me up? Check
-Soft music w/ headphones? Check
-Mentally reciting long memorized bible passages? Check
-Earplugs? Check
-Tylenol PM? Check
-Ambien? Check
-A shot of (insert hard liquor of choice here)? Check
-Begging to be clubbed like a baby seal for the love of a good night’s sleep? Check (but no one in my family will oblige)

The truth is, I’ve struggled with it all my life, and I’m curious as to how widespread insomnia really is. I used to think I had it just because I traveled a lot; now I think it’s just my lot in life. But, get this—almost every friend or family member I have talked to in the last year or so has had bouts with it. People spanning from twenty-something to sixty-something. Which for me, begs the question, Has it always been this bad, or is there some sort of modern epidemic happening? And if so, why?

I have a few theories….but I’m too tired to write about them at the moment. Something about living in an age of immediate and excessive information, overstimulation…..that kind of thing. Maybe you can articulate it better than me. I can’t seem to string together a coherent sentence in this fuzzy mental state.

So….I’m asking.

Come out of the woodwork, fellow vampires (minus the blood and fangs), tell me your woes, your theories and please, please, share your remedies if you have any.

• Word software tells me I’m making this word up. The nerve.